How to Build Confidence With Money and Finally Feel in Control

• You build confidence with money by understanding the big picture, including what you own, what you owe, and what you spend, so your decisions come from clarity instead of guesswork.
• Confidence grows when you use simple habits that keep your financial life visible, such as gathering your numbers, having honest conversations, and celebrating small wins.
• Letting go of old money myths and using practical systems helps you make choices that feel intentional, calm, and aligned with the life you want.

Why Many People Don’t Feel Confident With Money

People assume that money confidence comes from knowing financial terms, having better tax strategies, and keeping up with market updates. However, most of the time, the real reason people don’t feel confident with money has nothing to do with knowledge and everything to do with the stories they’ve absorbed over time.

Many of us grew up in families where money wasn’t talked about openly or it was talked about only in moments of stress when income shifts. 

Some people learned that money was scarce. Others learned that it was impolite to discuss. For many, money became tied to comparison, like watching friends, coworkers, or social media, and assuming everyone else is doing better.

It’s not just you. Recent national research shows that nearly two-thirds of Americans feel stressed about their finances and more people are now spending beyond their income.

When money feels emotional or unclear, avoidance becomes the default. Not checking accounts, delaying decisions, or hoping things sort themselves out are all common coping strategies, not personal failures. Finding money confidence in these moments is almost impossible.

The good news is that confidence doesn’t require perfection. It comes from knowing what you own, what you owe, and what you spend. Once the fog lifts, the anxiety begins to fade. That’s when confidence finally has space to grow.

The Three Questions That Build Money Confidence

Money confidence comes from asking the right questions and being honest with what you find. These three questions form the foundation of financial clarity. Once you can answer them, you’re already ahead of most people.

1. Do You Know What You Own?

Most people have more accounts, assets, and resources than they think. They’re just scattered across old employers, banks, investment apps, and joint accounts. When everything is spread out, it’s easy to feel disconnected from your financial life.

In a 2025 survey, only 58% of Americans said they know their net worth, while 21% said they do not and another 21% were unsure.

Knowing what you own means gathering the big picture:

• Your bank and investment accounts
• Retirement plans from past and current employers
• Equity, RSUs, and stock options
• Real estate or business interests
• Savings, emergency funds, or cash reserves

Seeing it all in one place gives you grounding. It turns money from something abstract into something real and manageable. That clarity alone builds confidence, because you finally know where you’re starting from.

2. Do You Know What You Owe?

Debt carries a lot of emotional weight, and that alone can undermine confidence. Many people avoid looking at what they owe because they assume it reflects a mistake or a misstep, when in reality, debt is simply a tool. The confidence comes from understanding it, not fearing it.

Knowing what you owe means looking at your:

• Mortgages
• Student loans
• Credit cards
• Car loans
• Business or personal loans
• Lines of credit

Just like with your assets, the goal isn’t to judge the numbers. It’s to know them. Understanding interest rates, monthly payments, and payoff timelines helps replace anxiety with direction.

3. Do You Know What You Spend?

This is the question most people want to skip, because they assume the answer will require restriction or a tight budget. But knowing what you spend doesn’t mean policing yourself. It helps you build awareness about how money moves through your life so you can make intentional choices.

You don’t need a complicated spreadsheet to start. A simple snapshot of your monthly spending is enough to create clarity. There are apps for your phone or computer that will do 90% of this work for you.  Review what consistently matters to you, what no longer does, and what surprised you when you saw it in writing.  

When you understand your spending, you gain control. It becomes easier to say yes to what aligns with your values and no to what doesn’t. This is often the moment clients tell me they feel the biggest shift, because spending clarity creates permission, which leads to confidence.

Practical Ways to Build Confidence With Money Starting Today

Confidence with money isn’t something you earn after you hit a certain number in your bank account. It’s something you build through simple, repeatable habits that make your financial life easier to understand.

Get Your Numbers in One Place

Scattered information creates anxiety. Confidence comes from visibility.

Put everything, including what you own, what you owe, and what you spend, in one place. It can be a simple document, a notes app, or a folder with your most recent statements. The goal isn’t to analyze it yet. It’s simply to gather it.

Almost every person I meet feels an immediate sense of calm once everything is visible. When your financial life is in one place, it stops feeling like a mystery you’re supposed to figure out alone and starts feeling like something you can actually manage.

Make Money Conversations Normal

For many people, money has been a taboo topic their entire lives. That silence creates shame, and shame erodes confidence.

Start normalizing money conversations with a partner, a trusted friend, or a financial professional. You don’t have to dive into every detail right away. Begin with one question at a time, like: 

• What are we saving for? 
• What matters most to us? 
• What’s something we want to feel differently about with money?

Celebrate Small Wins

Money confidence grows when you nurture good habits.

• Paid off a small balance? Celebrate it.
• Opened a retirement account? That counts.
• Reviewed your spending for the month without judgment? That’s progress.

When you give yourself credit for the steps you are taking, you reinforce the belief that you can handle your money. That belief becomes confidence, not because everything is perfect, but because you’re paying attention in a way that empowers you.

Common Myths That Hold People Back From Money Confidence

A lot of the fear around money comes from long-held myths that make people feel like they’re already behind. Naming them is the first step toward letting them go.

• “I should already know how to do this.”

No one is born knowing how money works. Confidence grows when you’re willing to ask questions and learn as you go.

• “I need to have everything figured out before I start.”

You don’t. You just need one next step. Clarity grows with action, not waiting.

• “I’m bad with money.”

Most people aren’t bad with money.  They’ve just never been taught a system that works for them.

• “Talking about money is stressful, so it’s better to avoid it.”

Avoidance creates anxiety. Talking about money in small, safe ways builds confidence.

• “If my income were higher, I’d finally feel secure.”

Higher income doesn’t automatically create clarity. Understanding your numbers does.

You Don’t Need Every Answer to Feel in Control

Confidence with money grows from clarity and momentum. That means the small steps you take, the questions you’re willing to ask, and the understanding you build over time. 

When the pieces of your financial life finally make sense in one place, the stress starts to quiet down. Decisions feel easier. You feel more grounded and more capable.

That’s the whole point. Not perfection, but a sense of control that lets you move through your life with more ease and less hesitation.If you’re ready for clearer answers and a plan that truly reflects your life, fill out my short questionnaire. It’s the first step toward understanding where you are, what you want, and whether I’m the right person to help you get there.

 

Jessica Lanning, CFP®

Email: [email protected]
Phone: (415) 354-5699
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jessicalanning
YouTube Channel: Lanning Financial on YouTube

 

Lanning Financial Inc. is a registered investment adviser. Information presented is for educational purposes only and does not intend to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance.